I'M JUST A LITTLE SICK of all these bad things people are saying about Mel Gibson. I’m sure that you’ve heard about it, that he was recently stopped for drunk driving on Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu and said some things that are being called hating Jews. That is just so stupid. So stupid to say that about Mel. I don’t think he said anything bad.

First let me ask you this, do you think that it’s easy being an actor? Well it’s not. Actors have to learn all those lines. Think of all the lines Mel Gibson has had to learn during his career. I’m a member of his fan club and I’ve read a lot of magazines about him; and I know. And once you’ve learned them, it must be hard to get rid of all those lines and certainly at those times when you can’t think of anything else to say.

So what if he said some things that didn’t make sense after he was pulled over for going too fast while drunk? What’s he supposed to say? He was drunk and couldn’t think of anything. Maybe he said “Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.” If he actually said that, and I don’t think he did. How pitiful is that? That is so sad, makes no sense. What Mel Gibson movie is that from? That’s my question. I haven’t found it yet, but I bet I will. I don’t think he said that anyway.

Also, he was also supposed to say something about “sugar tits.” Does that make any sense at all? I just think it’s sad, and I don’t think that he said it. But if he did say it, it was in a movie that he said it and then when he couldn’t think of anything else to say to the arresting officer because he was so drunk he said it because he had all those lines in his head.

I mean he was really drunk and couldn’t think of anything to say. You think that actors write what they say on screen or on the stage? “Sugar tits.” What does that mean? That the female deputy’s bosoms at the Malibu station were made out of sugar? Isn’t that stupid? Pitiful? Makes no sense. We should feel sorry for Mel that he couldn’t think of anything to say, and I don’t think he said that anyway; but if he did it was in a movie and the line was in his head. I’ll find it because I have seen all his movies several times.

I’ll tell you something else. What I’m going to tell you now has not been reported in “People” or “Us” or “Star” or on tmz.com, because I think they have it in for Mel. But I have talked to other members of our Mel Gibson fan club and some people in Malibu who were at that bar, Moonshadows, and they say that before Mel said anything about sugar tits he leaned out of the window of his Lexus and said to the arresting officer, in a really big voice, oh, God, I just love this, "I shall tell you of William Wallace. Historians from England will say I am a liar, but history is written by those who have hanged heroes." Looking the deputy dead in the eye, that’s what he said. That’s what I heard that he said. He was probably slurring a bit, because he was so drunk, but that’s what he said and in his head he was probably hearing a soundtrack, drums mainly. God, I love him.

Yes, and just as the officer shined his flashlight into Mel’s Lexus, Mel said those words. Do you understand? I’ll bet you don’t remember. That was the first line from “Braveheart.” “I shall tell you of William Wallace…History is written by those who have hanged heroes.” Remember?

And here’s something else. When the deputy told Mel to get out of his vehicle, I heard that Mel said, as he was getting out of his Lexus, he said to the deputy, “Run over there behind that big car and wait for me.” That’s what he said to Danny Glover in “Lethal Weapon 2.” Remember?

And now Mel was leaning against his Lexus, with that Mel Gibson look that l love, waiting, like the good actor he is, for the deputy to say his line, the line Danny Glover said, which was, “No, you go over there behind that big car and wait for me.” God, Mel must have been so drunk.

Think of how confused Mel was when the deputy didn’t say his line, and he might have gotten just a little bit angry that the deputy wasn’t being professional. “Who hired this guy?” was what Mel was thinking. Mel was really drunk; but he was right in a way because actors should always remember their lines.

But look what’s important is that the deputy thought that Mel was drunk and not being cooperative and told him that he was going to be given a field sobriety test. And this is where it gets really confusing, but this is what I have heard, and I think it’s so sad; and I feel so very sorry for Mel. Mel was so drunk that just before he blew the Breathalyzer he said, “I’m King of the World.” That just kills me. Yes, because that was a line spoken by another actor and not even in a Mel Gibson movie. Isn’t that so sad?

That’s really drunk, saying another actor’s line from a movie that you didn’t star in or direct. And this is how stupid the media can be, that line was reported as, “I own Malibu.” How can they be so stupid? “I’m King of the World” doesn’t sound anything like “I own Malibu.” OK, who was it? Yes, Leonardo Di Caprio said that in “Titanic.” Remember that? Standing on the bow of the boat? “I’m King of the World.” Had both of his arms out.

Now I’m not sure about this but some of my friends tell me that what Mel actually said before he blew the Breathalyzer was, “I’m King of the Jews,” and that would make sense because Mel directed “The Passion of the Christ” even though he didn’t play Jesus, but he was on the set every day and that line was certainly in his head because it was written there on the cross even though it was in Latin. And that also explains the whole business of him mentioning Jews at all, if he did.

So there are people who are saying that when he blew the Breathalyzer he said to the deputy either “I’m King of the Jews” or “I’m King of the World” and if he said that line about King of the Jews from “Passion of the Christ” that would be an explanation of how Jews got mentioned. Not something about “Jews are causing all the wars.” That line was definitely not in a Mel Gibson movie and I have seen them all so I don’t think he said that.

But I have one more idea about what Mel actually said and this is what I really believe happened; it really makes sense, and I thought of this all by myself. Mel has been trying to give up smoking and has been doing smokeless tobacco and with all the stress of the arrest and being drunk and having his Lexus towed and needing some nicotine what he actually said to the deputy was, “Do you have a chew?” and not “Are you a Jew?” That makes sense because "Are you a Jew?" is not in any of Mel’s movies, and I’ve seen them all several times.

God, I love Mel Gibson; and I hope he doesn't let all this worry him too much. ###

—As transcribed by Britt Leach

4 August 2006

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