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Issue # 109 / 17 October 2008 // Extra |
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Cover | Page One | Page Two | Page Three | Contents | Links | Contact |
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One other thought about Washingon. The White Guy and His Cutey will win the election. Middle America again. A black guy as president? Just because he’s more qualified? You’re joking. But Vice President Palin will not be satisfied with Vice, which to her is like coming in second. 'Cause she’s a winner, doncha know? Number one. Dog sled, moose hunting. Killing wolves from helicopters. “Got another one. More than you, you betcha!” Sarah’s a winner. Doncha know? The Barracuda wins! So after the White Guy and his Cutey get settled in Washington, Sarah starts making her moves. She’s not going to wait for the stresses of the office to get the old guy. Oh, no. Sarah is going to make her plans and then her moves, and she’s going to have a little meeting with the Prez in the Oval (notice the writer’s restraint) Office and she’s going to—oh, how to say this?—seduce his old ass and then bang his old ass into a heart attack, and she’s going to be so goddamn good at her bangin’ (the Alaskan Cutey) that the old guy is gonna die you betcha. I’m sorry to be so blunt. Yes, Sarah Palin will do the Old Guy in, in the Oval (don’t say it!) office. In flagrante assassin-o. “Oh! Oh! Somthin’s happened to the president,” as she checks herself in the Oval mirror. President Palin. You betcha. spacer |
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Our economy now seems to be based on a Las Vegas-like situation. Isn’t that right? Wall Street is Vegas but with better clothes. Not better taste, just better clothes. Fewer tees. Isn’t that right? When you play the market—don’t you love that? “play the market”—aren’t you, uh, gambling? Bailing out Wall Street? Well then, why not bail out people who lose money in Vegas? Is my question. Are they less worthy of bailout? The poor folks of Middle America (so named because of their prominent middles) who lose money playing Vegas—are they less worthy? I mean if we’re bailing out the gamblers of Wall Street, in some fashion, unknown at the time of this writing, why not bail out the poor gamblers who lose money in Vegas? I repeat. Aren’t they good Americans too? Or at least as good as the dick-heads of Wall Street? Is my question. It would work like this: You go to Vegas and lose a bunch, say over one-thousand dollars and you can sign up at The Government Agency for Vegas Bailout and with proper documentation of your losses, provided by the casinos, you are reimbursed. Simple. The Treasury Department sends you a check. You know, the Paulson guy, who came from Wall Street, Secretary of the Treasury, sends you a check. Bail out Wall Street? Bail me out, too! Dude. spacer |
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Cover | Page One | Page Two | Page Three | Contents | Links | Contact |
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